


Easy Like Sunday Morning

by ObliqueOptimism



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dialogue Heavy, Gen, M/M, Sober Klaus Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:01:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22442224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObliqueOptimism/pseuds/ObliqueOptimism
Summary: For Klaus and Dave, falling in love was easy.Or, in which the siblings really wish Klaus thought twice before making important decisions. Like spontaneously getting married to a stranger on Vegas. Little things like that.
Relationships: Dave/Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 79
Kudos: 463





	Easy Like Sunday Morning

**Author's Note:**

> "oh sara you write dialogue really well"
> 
> well now look what i've done

“What the actual and living _fuck._ ”

“I _said_ that Dave and I got married last night,” Klaus rolled his eyes, holding up his and Dave’s joined hands, showing off his ring. 

“And who the actual and living fuck _is Dave._ ”

“My husband, duh.”

Dave chuckled, “That sounds so great! Dave: My Husband.”

Klaus beamed happily at _his husband._

“Okay,” Allison held up a hand. “Let’s calm down, Diego. It’s not like they just met--”

“ _Actually_ ,” Klaus cut in, voice pitched high. 

Allison turned to glare, “ _What the actual and living fuck._ ”

“Short version?” Klaus scrunched up his nose. “We met last night, really hit it off, got married last night, and now we’re husbands.”

“There. Are. Laws.”

“Yeah, and the whole thing takes like half an hour when you’re in Vegas. _Ugh the documents._ ”

“And, pray tell.” Five steepled his fingers, “When were you in Vegas.”

 _”Last night._ God are you even listening?”

A groan, a curse, _a middle finger in the air._

“Okay, so _why_ were you in Vegas?”

“And! _How did you get there?_ ”

Silence from the newlyweds.

“ _You don’t know_ do you?” hissed between teeth.

“So sometimes people wake up across country in Vegas. What do you want from me?”

“ _To not wake up across country in Vegas._ ”

Klaus blew a raspberry, “Sounds boring.”

Dave leaned against Klaus, wrapping an arm around him and kissing his cheek. “Well I, for one, am glad you magicked yourself to Vegas. Like it was meant to be, fate brought us together.”

A chorus of six siblings: _gross, ew, no, stop it, no kissing is allowed, That's My Brother How Could You!_

“God I love you,” Klaus declared, he wrapped both arms around Dave who immediately picked him up, bridal style. “Take me upstairs and let’s go _consummate our marriage again,_ oh husband mine.”

A chorus of six siblings: _That’s My Brother How Could You!, no kissing is allowed, stop it, no, ew, gross._

It was later, they were cuddled together, content. 

“Y’know sunshine, I’ve got the feeling that your family doesn’t like me very much.”

“I love it when you call me sunshine.”

“Good, because when I woke up beside you this morning, _the first of many_ , I thought your smile was like the first rays of sunshine.”

“Babes you can’t just say shit like that. I’ll die of the romance.”

“Well you can’t die yet. We need to become one of those cute old married couples who feed birds in the park and dance to the sound of the water fountains when all of our adopted birds are full.”

Klaus sighed, “My family is probably taking bets as to how long we last.”

“I feel the pot will never be claimed, because I’m in it for the long haul. How about you?”

“If I wasn’t serious about us we wouldn’t have met my family to start with. They already think I’m the biggest fuck up. A failed marriage wouldn’t surprise them any, but if I thought it’d fail I wouldn’t let them know about it.”

They eventually went back down to join the family.

The smell of food drawing them to the kitchen.

They all sat down to eat, the meal started off quiet.

“So, Dave. What is it that you do for a living?”

“I’m a nurse.”

Klaus gasped, “You’re a nurse? Hot damn, got my own sexy nurse to get me back to health when I fall ill!” Gave his husband a wink.

“Hold on, hold on. _You didn’t even know what he does for a living?_ ”

“Didn’t come up in our conversations so far,” a shrug.

“And what do you do, sunshine?”

“Mostly I stay sober.” 

A fond voice, “Well you kinda failed that last night.” A wink back to Klaus.

“ _Eh_ , alcohol isn’t one I worry about as much. Mostly it’s the drugs we worry about.”

A sage nod, “Fair enough.”

“Fair enough. _Fair enough._ First off! Klaus! You were _drunk_ when you married him? Secondly! _Dave._ You’re just _okay_ with finding out your husband is a recovering addict?”

Dave’s face serious, “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be? It just proves that Klaus is strong and brave.” His tone picked up, defensive on behalf of his husband, “And even if he wasn’t recovering or if he relapsed that wouldn’t change anything! He deserves love and support and I will be there to give it to him!”

Dave grabbed Klaus’s hand from beside him and kissed the back of it.

“We should get married again.”

“Double marriage, I’m game.”

_“Shouldn’t have married the first time.”_

Klaus turned his head to stare his sibling down, “Well thank fuck I’m not you then. Since you wouldn’t have _lived your life_.”

“We’re just worried for you Klaus--”

“ _Oh?_ Now that I’m all nice and sober you’ve decided to worry about me? Dave, _my husband_ , has already made it clear that if I wasn’t nice and sober he’d still support me!”

“Wait,” Dave put a hand to Klaus’s back, “did they not support you before, sunshine?”

Klaus leaned into his husbands warmth, “ _Well_ , I mean-- we did all have our own trauma and--”

Dave’s eyebrows narrowed, passing his unimpressed gaze over the siblings before his look softened, back to Klaus. Leaning in, kissing his temple quickly. “I’m here now.”

From there, if a sibling said something even slightly bad about Klaus, Dave seemed to magic out of the shadows to defend his husband.

Sometimes with a look, they were scolded. Sometimes he’d have to use his words. Once he had to dodge a punch but he didn’t strike back.

“Promise sunshine. I won’t ever raise a fist to you, or your family. I am not like your past relationships.”

“ _Obviously._ You’re the one I married,” a fond eye roll followed by a kiss.

A week later they were still married and living together in Dave’s apartment.

“Hold up,” Klaus said that morning. “Babes, why were _you_ in Vegas?”

“I hope you’re okay with us having the same anniversary as my sister?”

“You have a sister?!”

“Yes, she lives in Vegas.”

“Babes, we didn’t say bye to her! Or point out that we stole her thunder and anniversary.”

“She doesn’t mind. Her second marriage y’know? Anyway, I said bye when you were trying to find your shoes.”

“Wish we’d have found them.”

“Me too.”

“Unrelated: a believe as of today Diego has lost the bet on who long we’d last.”

_“He gave us a week?”_

“To be fair, my longest relationship I’ve had is three weeks. And that was because I was tired of looking for a place to live.”

Dave ran a hand through Klaus’s hair, “Three weeks? We’ll be topping that with _forever_. Even if you’re just using me for a place to live.” His tone fond and joking.

“It is a good benefit. But I shan’t be leaving until we find my shoes.”

“Then I fear, _my dear_ , you shall never leave.”

“ _Gasp_ Quelle horreur!”

Six months later had Klaus waking his husband up by jumping on him and pressing their noses together. Dave’s arms were warm as they wrapped around his husband, holding him in place.

“I’ve reached my weight goal the doctor set for me.”

“That’s great news sunshine! No longer underweight, huh?”

“It’s all happy weight.”

“Happy are you?”

“Very.”

“Good. I’m very happy too, you know.”

“Yeah?”

“I can honestly say the happiest I’ve ever been has been since I married you.”

“Samesies.”

For their anniversary, Klaus woke Dave up by gently playing a borrowed acoustic guitar and singing romantic songs as he remembered them. Dave grinned and helped fill in the lyrics when Klaus forgot.

“I didn’t know you could play guitar.”

“Yeah, for a bit Diego and Vanya wanted to start a band.”

“I love that even after a year of knowing and loving you, I’m still learning about you. Always something to make me adore you more, sunshine.”

“Dave, what have I told you about saying romantic shit like that?”

“Well you woke me up by _serenading me!_ On our _anniversary!_ You don’t’ get to pretend like I’m the only romantic one.”

Klaus put the guitar down and crawled in bed with his husband. Dave’s arms wrapped around him once more, finding their way home, like they always did.

It was months after their first anniversary when they showed up to the semi-regular Hargreeves Family Meal with a baby.

“What the actual and living fuck are you two doing with a _baby_?”

“Meet your niece! Her name is Candice. She’s sweet like Candy.”

“Dave! You are supposed to stop all these impulsive decisions Klaus makes!”

“And why do you think I’d be good at that? I married him same as he married me.” 

The same time as:

“In the past year and a half of knowing my husband made you think that? He _is_ my husband.”

“Okay, _fine._ ”

“No, they make a good point Diego. Remember when Dave had a three day weekend so they just went and flew out to Disney? Or when they got matching tattoos? Or that car when Klaus doesn’t know how to drive and Dave already owned a car?”

“I don’t see what your point is? Those were all great decisions! And it’s not like we are strapped for cash since daddy died, _may he rot in hell._ ”

“Okay, so how did you _exactly_ get your hands on a kid?”

“My friend didn’t want to abort and was going to put her up for adoption but we asked if we could have her instead.”

“And _when_ did you guys decide on this?”

“Oh, like, today. We just came from the hospital.”

“What the actual and living fuck--”

“Isn’t it great! Klaus and I are parents now!”

“So you’re telling me, you guys aren’t prepared at all? No diapers, formula, _crib._ ”

“We got some from the drug store that doubles as a gas station? It’ll hold us over until this afternoon when we can go shopping.”

“Jesus wept.”

“He sure did, but what does he have to do with this. Our daughter is named Candice, not Jesus.”

“You two seem to have a shared impulsive disorder.”

“ _Sweet!_ Samesies.”

They shared a kiss as Candy slept in Klaus’s arms.

It was five years later, when Diego was babysitting Candy in the Katz’s apartment, her in bed asleep and him bored and watching tv when the two came home.

Diego knew, right away, “Klaus.”

“Yes, brother mine?”

“Did your jacket just move and meow at me?”

“Uhh-- I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

_”Dave why the actual and living fuck is yours barking?”_

"Surprise!"

**Author's Note:**

> obliqueoptimism @ tumblr


End file.
